Haal Chaal Thik Thak Hai...
Updates from a two month long unintended hiatus.
Yes. I am back. Two months since I last arrived in your inbox, a lot has happened. This post is going to be about that.
If the above image of six men folding their hands has confused you, hold up. It will all make sense in a bit (hopefully). But first, you need to click on the song below and then continue reading.
This song that you are listening to is from Mere Apne, a film directed by legendary Indian poet Gulzar. Released in 1971, the song was a satirical take on widespread corruption, unemployment and the war that India fought with Pakistan that year.
Through the song, Gulzar paints a vivid picture of the unemployed youth of the time. With unkempt long hair and no particular business to mind, the actors roam the streets singing the song which in essence translates to, “Shit’s going down all around, but we’re doing fine.” And that has been the story of my last two months. There’s a lot to worry about, but overall, everything’s alright.
Since the full fledged arrival of summers in London, life has been harsh. Having quit my part-time job as a food runner in a coffee shop, I dedicated myself to full-time chilling. Now my responsibilities entailed playing different sports during the day and binge drinking at night. I constantly had to attend concerts, plays, go on small trips, explore the city and hang out with friends. It got quite hectic. There was literally no time to just sit down and be productive. And despite so much pressure, I maintain that haal chaal thik thak hai…(Everything’s alright)
Here’s a quick lowdown of what all happened in the last two months.
I quit my job.
As much of a learning as it was to work in a coffee shop, I was slowly getting tired of it. Physically and mentally. And then, on a particularly busy morning, my manager lost his cool on me. On a regular day, I would’ve let it pass. That day was different though. I flicked the middle finger, picked up my bag and stormed out with at least fifty customers waiting in queue for their orders (I don’t know if it really was, but it felt quite filmy in my head).
As I walked out of the cafe, the crisp sun hit my face and almost instantly calmed me down. While I was still processing what had just happened, I looked around. Dressed in their most beautiful summer dresses and panama hats, tourists were making the most of the weather by getting drunk and having a good time. That’s when I knew what I wanted my next month to look like.
London Pride.
I don’t exactly remember what sparked this thought, but it was while I was at the pride parade when I thought to myself, “This might just be one of my favourite days in the city so far.”
With no context to what pride parade actually is, I just imagined people wearing funky clothes and raising slogans about serious issues related to queer identity. I even thought that the parade was a free for all where you just join in to show support. I was wrong.
Imagine the Indian republic day parade where different defence contingents showcase their ammunition, stunts and culture that makes them unique. Pride is that, but on drugs. Numerous communities that make up for the different colours on the pride flag march their contingents across the city, showcasing their culture, raising awareness, blasting queer music and doing all sorts of fun things.
Dividing the parade into contingents, I believe, is where the queer community scored massively. For a distant spectator like myself, who might be prone to thinking of queer people as one homogenous group, the exhibition of different contingents made me realise the ubiquity of the community. Contingents were being led by football players, bikers, disabled citizens, elderly couples, drag entertainers, queer families and even employees from one of the biggest supermarkets in the UK.
Those eight hours of standing on the sidelines, seeing people walk in groups smiling, dancing and interacting with the bystanders was enough for me shed a few kilograms of unknown biases that I might not even been aware of. And all this, without feeling the burden of undoing.
Leaving you with a few images that some friends clicked that day.
I went on a trip
As cheesy as it may sound, this was my Dil Chahta Hai moment.
Two of my closest friends from India visited me. That one month was the most debaucherous phase of my hiatus. We attended the Wimbledon, saw the Lion King musical, attended a concert, tried going to museums and art galleries (and failed terribly), indulged in mind numbing amounts of intoxication and most importantly, took a trip.
Now, as is the norm with boys trips, most essential decisions that one needs to go on a trip had not been taken till sixteen hours before leaving. Sleep deprived, drunk and excited to leave the next morning, a car was finally booked. But where exactly were we headed ?
Losing all hope in democratic decision making, one of the friends just opened the laptop, did some research and twenty minutes later, we were told that an AirBnB had been booked in Dumfries. The rest of us were too busy with our buffoonery to question his judgement.
Next day, a breathtakingly beautiful ten hours drive later, we landed up in Dumfries, a quaint little town in Scotland. The sun had set and the clouds were pouring away heavily. The clock was ticking at 8 pm as we drove around hoping to find some hot food. Restaurants, pubs and supermarkets were all shut. Our dinner that night was scotch, fruits and some Gujarati dry snacks that we were carrying.
The view I woke up to in the morning will be hard to forget for a while. The sun was up and shining behind cotton pod like clouds, reflecting their shadows on the grassy Scottish highlands. What seemed like parmesan sprinkled on top of a delicious green dish were thousands of sheep. You could see these tiny white dots wherever your eye went. The sound of the wind rustling through the grass became our soundtrack as we sat there silently and rolled up a fat one.
Everything that can happen a on trip happened. We got stranded in the middle of nowhere, got terribly bored of each other, incessantly listened to music, ate very little food and drank lots of scotch. I don’t think that the beauty of the place can ever be captured by any camera, but here’s is a little video of the place where we stayed for you to get an idea.
Parks, pubs and playing
Six months ago I wrote a fairly despondent post about the difficulty of getting through the winters. The last two months have been quite the opposite of that. I rediscovered the joy of playing. Calling it sports would be a bit of an insult to the athletic community, so let’s just call it playing games.
I played squash and tennis for the first time in my life. Badminton, table tennis, swimming and gully cricket made a comeback in my life.
The humiliation of sucking at each of these sports aside, what dawned upon me was that owing to the lack of accessible sporting infrastructure and work-life balance in India, playing for leisure just slowly fades out of our lives by the time we sit for our tenth board exams. And then, for most people, sport remains limited to something you watch on television.
Maybe it was always the case, but this summer I rediscovered sport as an adult socialising activity. There is nothing more fun than sweating it out on the court with a bunch of friends and heading out for a chilled pint afterwards. Hopefully, my enthusiasm would be able to sustain itself through the winters and I will continue to play something or the other in the coming months. Fingers crossed.
Summer is over.
Summer is ending. Literally and metaphorically.
I can see rain drops trickle down from my windowpane as I type this post. For any international student, this is the season of unending uncertainties. Let me give you a peek into a usual conversation with a stranger these days.
Q- So, now that you are graduating, what’s the plan ?
A- To find a job.
Q- What kind of jobs would be applying for ?
A- I have a vague idea, but I don’t exactly know.
Q- Ah! And what about the living situation ? Do you know who you are living with and where you are living ?
A- That’s a good question. But nah, I don’t really know.
Q- I can imagine. All of it must be quite stressful, considering that you also must be caught up with your dissertation research, right ?
A- (Nervous laughter) Yeah. Very.
With exactly 40 days to go before I submit my dissertation and move out of the student accommodation, I am expecting the coming days to be mildly overwhelming. Respectfully passing the final submission, finding a job, finding a house and managing survival while the rest of the pieces fall into place is going to be an adventure. And this is obviously not unique to my story. Every international student is bound to face this juncture in their journey. I am sure some of you reading this are exactly in this weird, uncertain space. If you are, you must know that you are not alone. Till then, whenever someone asks you how you are doing, just say…
हाल-चाल ठीक-ठाक है
सब कुछ ठीक-ठाक है
बीए किया है
एमए किया (almost)
लगता है वो भी
एँवे किया
काम नहीं है, वरना यहाँ
आपकी दुआ से सब ठीक-ठाक है
हाल-चाल ठीक-ठाक है
सब कुछ ठीक-ठाक है
(Shit’s going down, but overall I am doing just fine)
Note : All the photos that I have used in the post are clicked by some really talented friends. A big thank you to Alejandro Schoor, Fritz Pinow, Pragya Bansiwal and Vaishnavi Rao.
Fritz is a fantastic photojournalists and works primarily in war and conflict areas. You can checkout his work @fling.photography on Instagram.